self centered people
Self-centered People Traits
Dealing with self-centered people can get to be very tough, especially if you don't know how to deal with them. In the article that follows, we will look at some of the traits of this behavior and thereby learn how to deal with them. Continue reading for more details.
"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."
― Oscar Wilde
If we could help it, we would never really share our things. We wouldn't really want to think about others and sacrifice something that could've been all ours. But we still do that. Why? 'Cause we live in a society and societal rules and nomenclature demand that we share, care, empathize, and such and such. So we learn that these are all positive traits and that a good human being is one who has a profusion of these positive qualities. Of course, there are times when we show traits of negative behavior―in the way of selfish behavioral patterns. But these do not become a part of our behavior and merely limit themselves to select occasions.
And then there are self-centered people who do not exhibit any of the above-mentioned positive traits and thereby affect other people's adjustment in society. Dealing with self-centered people can get tough if one does not know how to go about it. In extremes, this can turn out to be a personality disorder and can be very draining for those who have to deal with it. In the article that follows, we will look through the traits that form the basis of the 'selfish people' and how to deal with them effectively.
Self-centered Traits
The following are some of the most common selfish personality traits of a self-centered person. These should help you identify what a self-centered person is all about. If you look closely, you will find that they share a lot of their traits with a person affected by a narcissistic personality disorder.
Self-absorbed and self-centered people only think of their own self and are not very considerate or empathetic towards others―if they are considerate, it is only because they are constantly calculating what the other person can do for them. In that way, the other person is only important because of their 'usefulness'.
These people find it difficult to have long-lasting and fulfilling relationships. Since they are usually about the 'taking' and rarely about the 'giving', they cannot sustain emotionally strong relationships. Which is the reason why they are not always reliable.
They are initially able to attract people with their charm and smooth talk, but soon, people find their self-absorbed banter, draining.
They consider themselves to be superior than the others around them―they therefore do not give others' opinions any importance and think that they're too good for them.
One of the most common characteristics of a self-absorbed person is that he/she always blames others for things not turning out the way they had hoped. This happens because they think that they can do no wrong.
They expect that their problems and needs should always be given top priority.
They like things to be done their way and they are convinced that their way is the only right way.
They do not like it if people do not behave or do things according to the way they want them done. They allow no scope for other people's opinions.
They often like to 'steal the show' and take credit for work. They hardly ever acknowledge others' involvement in a project.
They put their happiness before anyone else.
They do not show feelings of compassion, sympathy, or understanding towards others or the society in general.
They are fully capable of abandoning someone in order to satisfy their own needs.
They usually make for fair weather friends.
They need to be constantly praised and their actions need to be met with approval at all times.
They are indifferent to many things in society and other people because all their concentration is only on themselves and their needs.
They do not encourage others to excel in any field. Anyone succeeding is not in their agenda.
They pull people down with actions and harsh words.
They have a huge ego and they don't usually acknowledge their mistakes―in fact, they rarely ever apologize for the same.
They are usually materialistic because inanimate objects can be controlled and manipulated.
They need to be in the limelight and be the center of attention at all times.
They do not listen to what others have to say and exhibit several traits of selfishness in this way.
In a conversation, they often cut someone's point to put forth their own.
They do not contribute in group activities or projects that involve team work.
They often brag about their achievements and have a tendency to make a major deal about something that might be quite minor to begin with.
They are very, very possessive about their objects and the people around them and do not like to share anything.
They care more about their self-image than anything else and want the world to revolve around them. In that way there is always a lack of empathy in relationships.
People who are self-centered share a lot of their traits with narcissistic behavior traits and therefore dealing with these kinds of people needs to be managed in the same way that narcissists are dealt with.How to Deal with Self-centered People
It's needless to say that living with a person(s) who is self-centered is not easy and can take a toll on the way a person interacts with others. While there are certain methods that one can adopt while dealing with people who are self-centered, it is important to understand that you cannot change a self-centered person. It is their nature, and unless they analyze their own behavior, there is going to be no scope of change and improvement.
The following are certain ways that exhibit how one can deal with these type of people.
When interacting with self-centered people, try to do so in a group so that there are others present around and there is a chance to get your point across as well. This will prevent him/her from making it all about himself/herself.
Try to look for breaks in their speech to include your points of view.
If possible, try to understand why they exhibit such behavior patterns. When you find their underlying needs for that behavior, or certain ways in which they stop that behavior, then supplying them with that will prevent the behavior pattern. Like a genuine praise might stop them from trying to hoard the attention further.
Do not lose your temper or peace of mind by getting affected with what they do. Try to remain focused on your life. It is very easy to start reacting and behaving like they do, but that is only going to affect you and bring no change in them whatsoever.
You can try to speak to them and tell them how their behavior affects you. It could help. But it has been seen that a self-centered person cannot really be expected to change.
Do not give in to their demands at the cost of your own. Do not let them dominate you―do not be their doormat. This will only encourage them to be more and more selfish. Try to put your foot down and as hard as it may be, try to put your needs out there as well.
If ever there is a need for a confrontation, keep it short and simple. Listening to others is not one of their strongest qualities and they have a very low attention span.