funny phrases and slogans
Funny Phrases and Slogans
Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers and they never seem to fail. All you have to do is choose the correct place to pop them and not end up being inappropriate. Here are some beautifully spun one-liners that will evoke a smile from anybody.
HAHA!
Liking your own status on Facebook is like giving yourself a high five.Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy.
I'm objective; I object to everything.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.!
I have PMS and a handgun. Any Questions?
Overpopulation... too much of a good thing.
It could be worse. What if sex was fattening?
So many cats ... so little time.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Vegetarian: Indian word for BAD HUNTER!
You don't know what you have until it's gone. For example, toilet paper.
Heaven won't take me and hell's afraid I'll take over.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Guess what? Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Tom Stoppard
And here I shall bid you goodbye with my favorite; We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.