By Anastacia Mott Austin Remember how exciting and passionate everything was when you first started dating? For some of you, it might not have been long ago. For some, it seems like a hundred years! Let's face it; it's tough to live with the same person, day in and day out. Some days you wonder, why can't so-and-so remember to shut the gate into the front yard behind him when he comes home, even though you've told him about 800 times? Or maybe he thinks, why does she need to have the gate shut? (answer: It completes the safety circle around the house. Okay, so he's not the only one with weird little tics.) Simply put, marriage can be maddening. What to do then, if you want to live happily ever after? What's the big, juicy secret to a happy, successful, sexy marriage? There isn't one. Before you get too discouraged, I say there isn't one, because there are as many secrets to a successful, passionate relationship as there are couples. This article isn't just about surviving a relationship, but about how to sustain the passion and the fun of your earlier days. While things might be different than your early dating days, there can still be a spark; there is still romance; there's still fun. Here's how you can reignite that passion. 10 Things You Can do to Spice up Your Old Married Love Life 1. Spare some time for yourself. If you're married, and have children, there are times you inevitably forget who you are. Go for a movie alone, or if you have the luxury, go camping alone or with some girlfriends. Make time to miss your spouse. Travel alone, go on the adventures he's not interested in. When you come back, you'll be refreshed, and he'll seem better to you. Every couple needs to take a break from each other. 2. Learn forgiveness. Yes, he is annoying sometimes, but so are you (I know, it's hard to believe). If you practice treating other people, especially your spouse, the way you want to be treated, amazing things can happen. Forgiveness and tolerance are two most important traits to develop in yourself if you want to be in a long-lasting relationship. 3. Don't neglect your love life. Don't take it for granted that you'll always be hot for each other. That takes a lot of maintenance. Hire a sitter for the kids, and have a date night, at least once or twice a month. 4. Do special things for each other. If he loves the Giants, buy some tickets, go to the game together, eat bad hot dogs, and have $8 beer. Get him the Milky Way Midnight bars for no reason. 5. Don't let yourself go. I'm not talking about plastic surgery, or being obsessed with flat abs, but at least sometimes, try to make yourself presentable for your spouse. Pretend that he or she is the new person in your life. You can't help but feel a little spiced up if you're wearing lip gloss and some nice outfit that isn't sweatpants. At least on some level, your partner will appreciate that he's special enough to look nice for. 6. Talk. I know, it sounds boring. However, talking will get all the mundane things out of your system, and free some space for thinking about other things. If your mind is full of how it's his turn to do the dishes, and how it bugs you that he never is the one to do toothbrushing with the kids, you'll have no room to remember how funny his jokes are, or how he still has a cute butt. 7. Surprise each other. If things start getting monotonous, do something different. In the bedroom, try out some Kama Sutra moves, buy new lingerie, role play, use more candles, take your time, think about what you used to do together in the early days, and recreate your favorite scenarios. 8. Do surprising things outside the bedroom too. If you're in a "What do you want to do?"-"I don't know, what do you want to do?" funk, just stop it. Take some time, do some research, brainstorm, come up with some new ideas. When you were first together, you did new stuff as a couple. It's not too late. Pretend you're a tourist in your own town, do something different and fun! Try roller skating, ballroom dancing, go to a rave, and wonder what all the kids' parents might be thinking. 9. Socialize as a couple. Invite his friends over for dinner. This may delight him, and at the same time, get you acquainted to the people he socializes with. Host parties together. This way, you'll be known as a couple, instead of just individuals married to each other. Seriously, that really makes a difference. Plus, planning for parties would again have you working together. 10. Make a ritual. This is different from routine. Make it a habit to do something together with family or as a couple, every year. Come what may, do not miss out on this. Plan to bake a cake together every Christmas, or have a potluck with family every 6 months. This will get you used to the ritual, and create an altogether new connection. Use these to find your own ideas to revive the spark in your married life. Nobody knows you and your spouse better than you do. So, get creative and remember what used to work. If it worked for you then, try it now, or try a new version. The truth is, what works for any one couple, is ultimately unique to them.