You heard that right! Southerners make no bones about the fact that they never sugarcoat their opinions. As in the case of any language, the local culture and its idiosyncrasies bear a phenomenal impact on the way it is spoken. In the case of Southerners, it's a pity that they're misunderstood to the extent of being termed brash or insensitive. Their sharp tongue may offend some, but rest assured they only mean well. At least most of the time they do. So, leave all your preconceived notions aside and put up your best Southern drawl, as we've compiled a list of some hilarious Southern quotes to tickle your funny bone. I am as nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I been running all over hell's half acre. ("I have been busy") He's busier than a one-legged man at a butt kickin' contest. He's about as useful as a trap door on a canoe. He's so ugly, he didn't get hit with the ugly stick, he got whopped with the whole forest! She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road. If that boy had an idea it would die of loneliness. He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss. Well, don't you look prettier than a glob of butter melting on a stack of wheat cakes! I could eat the north end of a south-bound polecat (or even a goat, whatever works for you). Those pants are so tight I can see her religion. He squeezes a quarter so tight the eagle screams. It's hotter than a billy goat's ass in a pepper patch. If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane! It's said Southerners do not like to sugarcoat anything, except when they want to lash an unmentionable expletive. With that thought, you can only guess what "bless your heart!" means ...