50th birthday jokes

50th Birthday Jokes

Turning 50 is a grand event in itself with half the battle of life won. It's a time when one must look back, reminisce and smile contentedly. And what adds to this joyous occasion? A bunch of funny 50th birthday jokes of course! So, relax and enjoy.

Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age. ~ Victor Hugo
So, instead of feeling old and frustrated, I feel one should make the most of this occasion. If you know someone who is about to turn 50 in sometime, along with a birthday party and the usual birthday jazz, you can actually use these funny 50th birthday jokes to make their lips curl upwards more than just once! You can either send them these hilarious 50th birthday quotes and jokes, one at every hour of their special day, through SMS or you can write them out on tiny, colorful chits and leave them in places all over the house. For instance, husbands can leave chits inside the coffee jar while wives can leave it inbetween two biscuits, served with his morning cup of tea and other such places. I know some will feel a little childish about doing this but hey they're becoming children again, remember? Also, young ones in the family can actually write these jokes out in colorful and decorated charts and display it all over the place during the birthday party. Believe me, if even one of these 50th birthday jokes can bring a smile to your beloved's face, you have given them their most precious and sought after gift. Happiness. Best 50th Birthday Jokes and Sayings The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. ~ T. S. Eliot First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. ~ Leo Rosenberg There are numerous advantages in being fifty - just ask any eighty year old!!! Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~ Tom Wilson Helpful Tip for just 50s: Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger. The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. ~ Paulina Borsook Age is a number and yours is unlisted. A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. ~ Henny Youngman Growing old is a question of mind over matter. Provided you don't mind it really doesn't matter. At 50 you no longer have hot flashes, you have power surges! Here's one of my favorite 50th birthday jokes for men - You are not 50, just 49.95, plus tax. You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~ Ogden Nash Life is a theater - growing old the drama to be performed. It's just unfortunate that no dress rehearsal is allowed. Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday. Happy 50th Birthday!!! Let's crack open a bottle of prune juice. Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore under FICTION. Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake. Fifty isn't old... If you're a tree! Happy Birthday, you young sapling, you!!! I get up each morning and dust off my wits, then pick up the paper and read the "o-bits". If my name isn't there, then I know I'm not dead. I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. ~ Anonymous At age 50, everyone has the face he deserves. ~ George Orwell You know you're getting old when the only way to accurately tell your age is by carbon dating. I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent. ~ Wendy Cope Looking forty is great if you're fifty! At my age I don't care if my mind starts to wander - just as long as it comes back again. ~ Mike Knowles They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. Dear husband, congrats on turning 50! What do you want for your birthday? Please do not say a tie that matches the hue of your eyes 'cause it's exceedingly difficult to find a bloodshot tie. My loving wifey, I am so happy today that finally you have understood at 50 that it's not the present but the love of the giver behind the gift that is important. Enjoy this pack of cards that belonged to my dad. It's an heirloom. At fifty you've accumulated the knowledge and wisdom of half a century. This would be a tremendous asset if only darned senility hadn't wiped your memory bank. You can finally sell those dreadful diet and exercise books that have sat unopened on the bookshelf for years. For some people, the acceptance of old age is really hard. If you are a friend of someone who has just crossed the threshold of old age at 50, then use these 50th birthday jokes and birthday quotes as aids to cheer him up and make him feel that turning 50 isn't all that bad at all! Make them see the lighter side of life that provides relief at all ages. Make them laugh with these funny birthday jokes, as laughter they say, strengthens the heart...

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