Alcohol is an addiction for some, fun for some, relief for some, and also an alien for some. Those lovers of their daily gin and tonic or pint of beer cannot imagine a life without it. The sparkle of champagne is more than the sparkle of diamonds for many. If you too are one of these, have fun reading these quotes and sayings. Funny Alcohol Quotes and Sayings Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. - Dr. Thomas Fuller The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts! - Samuel Johnson I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books. - P.J. O'Rourke Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. - Ernest Hemingway I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food! - Anonymous How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? - Anonymous My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them! - Winston Churchill Fill up the goblet and reach to me some! Drinking makes wise, but dry fasting makes glum. - William R. Alger Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking So pleasant on this side the grave; It keeps the unhappy from thinking, And makes e'en the valiant more brave. - Charles Dibdin Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times! - George Saintsbury I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. - Frank Sinatra A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk! - Samuel Johnson A drunken man is fitly named: he has drank, till he is drunken: the wine swallows his consciousness, and it sinks therein! - Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare What harm in drinking can there be, Since punch and life so well agree? - Thomas Blacklock I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy! - Laura Kightlinger But the greatest love-the love above all loves, Even greater than that of a mother... Is the tender, passionate, undying love, Of one beer drunken slob for another! - Irish saying I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin If you love alcohol, you will simply have more reasons to justify drinking with these quotes. Lastly, here is the best toast to alcohol and drinking by an anonymous author: Here's to alcohol, a never-ending source of humor and absurdity!