3 26 2004 52193

5 Secrets of a Successful Marriage

God's idea of the equation of human life was simple - marriages were supposed to be made in heaven and broken on earth! Anyway, jokes apart, it is a very important institution. This article tells you the 5 secrets of a successful marriage.

Every society recognizes marriage through different mannerisms. Some actually preach both spouses to give up the idea if it doesn't live up to their expectations. This is rare, except in cases of the olden days, where polygamy was rampant. Although we believe that love is the essence of a great marriage - the very foundation, it's also true that there are some generic rules that apply to any marital bond (despite geographical and cultural differences). Boost His Ego
  • Though many might not agree with this rule, it actually holds true.
  • We are humans and tend to stereotype roles, as soon as we imbibe them. The universal problem of 'Men and their ever-growing egos' exists all around the world.
  • As a human tendency, women tend to resist and battle these out in what they know as letting out steam.
  • What you really need to do is simply keep quiet; because in the fit of anger that a man is so proud of, he would neither hear you out nor would he ever understand the depth of your advice.
  • As profound as it may sound, it's good to practice non-violence at this stage, thereby allowing his ego to grow.
  • Consequently, he will mellow down and salvage his pride.
Write Down
  • As ridiculous as it may sound, even the most precise man in this world makes mistakes.
  • Remember at school, when your teacher would insist that all math equations needed practice; and practice would only be sufficient, when they would be written down.
  • Writing things is a good habit that improves a lot many things in life.
  • Firstly, it makes you understand what you've written thanks to the continuous flow of words on paper.
  • Secondly, it makes your brain more sharp, thereby making you less prone to the usual mistakes that drive couples into petty arguments.
  • Furthermore, it also makes you more disciplined and at peace with yourself to make major decisions that would ultimately make life easy.
  • What's even better is that when you note the finer nuances of whatever took place at the time, it will be easy to put up a great fight, when you've armed yourselves with the exact situation if the need for a battle should arrive (God forbid!).
Spend Time
  • When we speak of quality time, we normally interpret it as the good times spent with each other.
  • What we need to remember is that normal life is spent in pursuing everyday aspirations.
  • So, after the accomplishment of each goal is when you really need to take time off. That's what really means quality time.
  • This time you can spend in just about anything - sharing housework, reading, learning a new skill, exercising, etc. Being together is the key.
Appreciate and Laugh
  • Men like women, who can appreciate and laugh at themselves, as they consider women to be the forever lot of conniving sex.
  • There are two distinct advantages of this: (i) it makes you a great sport, making you aware of your flaws and allowing you to improve upon them; and (ii) it makes you more cheerful.
  • Believe it or not, laughing at yourself also adds a new dimension in your spouse's eyes.
  • These cheerful moments will surely be a catalyst in making your marriage successful.
Be Diplomatic
  • Remember that a large part of a woman's life is dominated by the imbalance of her hormones.
  • At times, she may not even know why she feels the way she does.
  • During such times, you just cannot control the ire that has only just reached at your mouth's gateway or has just twitched the finger of your right hand and is compelling you to raise it.
  • It is at these times that you need to use diplomacy.
  • As hard as it may be to control one's anger, you need to do this for the sake of your woman, as she really cannot control the way she is.
  • Bear in mind that a woman is an important deciding factor of the marriage's success. So, try and adjust with her fluctuating mood swings.
Most communities only teach you the fact that marriage is forever, 'until death do us part'. But you need to keep the aforementioned pre-decided factors in mind in order to make your relationship a success.

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