Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. -- Anonymous
A best friend is that one person in this world who understands you without you having to say a single word. She or he gets you when you are down, picks you up, helps you build what is broken, and celebrates your every smallest achievement.
Best friends are those buddies who are above spouses, partners, and even parents. In fact, a best friend can sometimes dwarf God. And a fight or an argument is never a reason to let that power go. It only takes a moment of clarity about the bigger picture to realize that a friendship that has endured several ups and downs is above any quarrel. So, if you've been brooding over reasons you stopped talking to your best friend for far too long, then here's what you need to do.
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Introspect
Misunderstandings and fights are extremely painful. Fueled by anger, these fights leave little room for any logic. The worst kind of a fight is the one in which things that should have been guarded, are used as ammunition against each other. However, what's done is done, and there isn't any going back. The question you could ask yourself here is, how long do want to fester that anger? A little introspection is good when things spiral out of control. While you go over the recent tragic events, keep in mind that it takes two to tango. This will help you see things differently on the subject, and then think of how you can deal with it differently.
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Get a Fresh Perspective
Analyze the situation through your friend's eyes. This will give you a chance to objectively view yourself as a friend. Think of those things you've said to your friend, how you have wronged the relationship, things you could have stopped from happening, and in the bigger picture, is it truly a fight which deserves such importance. A new look at the situation will motivate you to look at the brighter side of things.
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Count Your Blessings
The old adage says, friends are the family we choose. And a best friend is that person in our life who stands by us, no matter what. A best friend will Google a revenge if you decide to take one or plan your wedding if that's what you choose to do. Missing your friend after a fight is very natural. You will definitely miss all those things you shared or did together, every single day. So count those blessings that your best friend brings, and go forth to settle that score on the balance sheet of your friendship.
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Small Things Matter
Those grand monuments countries gift as a token of friendship towards each other, the point remains to be lost somewhere. What matters over these big gestures of friendship is counting the small things. Take a trip down memory lane, to take a look at the number of amazing things you and your best friend have done together. The smallest of things, such as a random call at an ungodly hour, conversations that stretched into the wee hours of the mornings, sharing the darkest of secrets together, discussing lives, and helping one another through every decision taken, count for more than a fight keeping you away.
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Apologize
Wisdom needs be to supported by complementary action, to change reality. To reconcile with your friend, you need to apologize, in the conventional sense of it. Many a time, we take 'sorry' for granted, assuming that one need not say it, and that it will be merely understood. But no! Every discord deserves a sorry from both the ends. To salvage the friendship and reconcile, apologize in person, instead of doing it over a phone call or a text message. However, if the person is overseas, then saying sorry virtually remains your only option. To make the apology heartfelt (while it already is), send your best friend a gift that will melt her or his heart, by bringing back a happy memory.
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Begin Where You Left It
The act of reconciliation could be very confrontational. It could lead to another fight. Instead, make a quick, very to-the-point apology, pick a happy moment and begin from there. You could meet at a coffee shop that you frequent, a restaurant you both were planning to visit, invite your best friend for the pending shopping spree, or send movie tickets with an apology note. Reconciliation should be the kind that invokes a feeling of warmth, love and care. Make this your moment of unconditional love towards your friend, that goes beyond what has happened. Bury the past and work towards strengthening the shaken bond from this moment on.
In a retrospective moment, after everything is said and done, what do we measure our life in? The trophies we collect or the triumphs we make? Is it a summation of the hours spent in board meetings or frequent flyer miles? Does life account for collection of business cards or credit cards? We measure our lives with the money we make, the career we build, and the legacies we intend to leave behind. But truly, what is life if it has been spent in chasing what wasn't there, and missing out on those who were there? It isn't much. If you take a moment from your everyday life, stop for just a second, and view it from the outside, you'll know what you've missed. Your quality of life is largely painted by the moments of happiness in it. The shades may vary, but it is an album that you definitely want to treasure. Nursing anger and ego bitters us and clouds the fun-filled friendships we can have. So get your act together, and go find that missing piece of your life.
