Much as I'd like to start this piece with the very clichéd and oft-quoted
what's in a name? line, I'd rather not. For when it comes to celebrities, abnormal is what is normal, with no exceptions to the rule.
As if being born into the limelight was not enough, celebrities plant more baggage on to their children by going way out of line to find
suitable names. Agreed, naming one's children is an extremely private matter, and should be left entirely at the parents' discretion. But you see, there is a fine line that separates uniqueness from insanity. Judging whether one has crossed this line becomes even tougher, as daftness, again, is a relative concept. However true all of this might be, there's bound to be at least a little bit of logic or lore used when it comes to naming your kid.
Speaking of kids, did you know that
David Duchovny and Téa Leoni's kid's name is
Kyd? Enough said, don't you think? Here's a list of other oddball names of famous offspring.
Strange and Famous Names of Children
To begin with, we need a child who was a certified celebrity even before the actual birth. In fact, this child was an imaginary celebrity ever since the day her illustrious parents got married. Meet
Blue Ivy Carter, daughter of
Beyonce and Jay-Z.
Being born to a celebrity makes one a classified member of showbiz royalty. If there's someone who perfectly embodies this principle, it's got to be
Jermajesty, son of
Jermaine Jackson and Alejandra Genevieve Oaziaza. Fascinatingly majestic, don't you think?
British TV presenter, late
Paula Yates was probably the trailblazer when it came to celebrities giving outlandish names to their creations. Her three daughters with Bob Geldof and one with Michael Hutchence are named... (please take a deep breath here)
Fifi Trixibelle,
Little Pixie,
Peaches Honeyblossom, and
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Okay, you can exhale now.
Jason Lee has a sense of humor, and we're sure of that. But he thought we needed more convincing, so he decided to name his son
Pilot Inspektor. His inspiration?
Oh, did you really have to ask? Well, since you did, it comes from the band
Grandaddy's song
"He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot". Happy?
If someone names their child Apple, you'd think it's because the child is the apple of its parents' eyes, or something to that effect. But when
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin named their daughter
Apple, it was because (and I quote Ms. Paltrow here)...
"Right, well, um, basically it was because when we were first pregnant, her daddy said if it's a girl I think her name should be Apple. And I just, it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for me, you know apples are so sweet and they're wholesome, and it's biblical and it's just, they're so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely and... clean." That's Hollywood eccentricity for you.
Nicolas Cage, as we all know, is not new to Hollywood oddities. Here's a man who dropped his famous last name Coppola in favor of Cage, inspired from the comic book character,
Luke Cage. Continuing the tradition, it's only natural that he names his son
Kal-El. For the uninitiated, that's
Superman's birth name.
When it comes to
Steven Spielberg, everything's got to be cool. He's the man behind
Jaws, Indiana Jones, Schindler's List, Jurassic Park, Saving Private Ryan, and the likes. So when he decides to name his daughter
Destry, his fans automatically see the insanely logical reasoning behind it.
Destry is just the feminine version of
Destro from G.I. Joe. Well, obviously.
No celebrity offspring article can be complete without mention of the
Jolie-Pitt brood. The Hollywood power couple has taken great pains to ensure that each of their adopted children have names pertaining to their home country. So, we have
Zahara Marley from Ethiopia,
Pax Thien from Vietnam, and of course, Jolie's first adopted son,
Maddox Chivan, from Cambodia.
Maddox? Seriously, what gives, Angie?
To have a name like
Prince Michael Jackson II necessarily calls for a shorter, more practical name. So, in true
MJ style, the child gets a, well, let's just say
regular name,
Blanket. And the rest is of course,
HIStory.
Our celebrities seem to have a definite fixation for the color blue. Besides Bey and Jay Carter's Blue Ivy Carter, we have U2 guitarist
The Edge calling his daughter
Blue Angel,
Alicia Silverstone naming her son
Bear Blu, and finally, former Spice Girl
Geri Halliwell's daughter,
Bluebell Madonna.
Wheew!
Tennis legend
Arthur Ashe and his wife Jeanne Moutoussamy named their adopted daughter
Camera. This is because Jeanne Moutoussamy was a photographer. Well, they had to, because they couldn't name her
Racquet, could they now?
Singer
Ashlee Simpson has a baby boy named
Bronx Mowgli. If you couldn't figure the name out, that's the jungle boy who'll grow up in New York City's tough neighborhood. Ashlee's sister,
Jessica Simpson has a child named
Max. A baby
girl named Max. As they say, weirdness runs in the family.
Another member of the
name-your-child-after-a-comic book-character club,
Kevin Smith is also a comic book writer, along with being a producer, director, and actor. So when this guy names his child
Harley Quinn, it does not take us too much by surprise. It's sweet to name your little angel after a badass super villain in the DC Universe, isn't it?
Penn Jillette is a funny guy. We all know that. But wait, it will get funnier when you hear his kids' names. The girl is called
Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette, and the boy is called
Zolten Penn Jillette. Fascinating.
Film director
Robert Rodriguez has an interesting collection of names for his brood of five. Get a load of this -
Racer, Rebel, Rogue, Rocket, and
Rhiannon. So hard to believe, and yet, so symbolic of typical Hollywood eccentricity.
First Runner-Up
Not many of you might know
Rob Morrow from the TV show,
Numb3rs. Well, after reading this, you're unlikely to forget this guy for the longest time. At least, his daughter won't, and not because Rob Morrow is her father, but for the name that's been given to her. We present
Tu, daughter of Rob Morrow. Yes, that's
Tu Morrow. The only relief is that this name, being this name, is still not our winner.
And the Winner Is...
Gail and Frank Zappa's bunch of weirdly named children. They are...
Moon Unit Zappa,
"Dweezil" Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa,
Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen Zappa,
Ahmet Emuukha Rodan Zappa. No explanation required.
Our Honorable Mentions
Singer Alicia Keys calls her son Egypt.
Ever Gabo is what Milla Jovovich has named her daughter.
Sirius Seven is the name of musicians Andre Benjamin and Erykah Badu's son.
Harper Seven is Victoria and David Beckham's daughter.
Denim and Diezel are sons of singer Toni Braxton.
Courteney Cox and David Arquette call their daughter Coco.
Actress Shannyn Sossamon named her son, Audio (wait for it) Science. That's Audio Science.
Daisy Boo, Petal Blossom Rainbow, Poppy Honey are daughters of chef Jamie Oliver.
Sparrow is the name of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden's son.
Supermodel Christie Brinkley calls her daughter Sailor.
British footballer Wayne Rooney's son is called Kai.
As the madness and mayhem continues in celebdom, one wonders why these personalities seemingly go out of the way to name their children what they do. Understandably enough, they do want their kids' names to be unique, but these parents here, seem to have really pushed the envelope. Do tell us what you think.