The Disturbing Snore!
: Excuse me, can you please wake up? This is a theater.
: Zzzzzzz ...
: Could you sleep quietly, at least? Let others enjoy.
: Zzzzz ...
You may have definitely come across many types of people in movie halls, from the extremely quiet to the extremely noisy ones. One of these types are informally and infamously called the spoilsports or the show-offs or the irritants, and they can be pathetically annoying. When you go to a movie theater, you expect some quiet while you concentrate on watching the movie, a bit of fun when you are with friends, and a bit of suspense perhaps. No one would like to hear someone talk continuously, giggle unnecessarily, and pass derogatory comments.
But then, there are certain kinds of movie-goers who have incredibly irritating habits that can infuriate the hell out of you. The paragraphs below will list down 22 annoying types of people you see in the movie theater.
The Snacking Breed
Oh yeah, popcorn and fries are great additions to enjoying a movie. But the snackers conveniently ignore the movie, and are found to gorge on something every 10 minutes. They will want sandwiches and burgers and fritters, and the most annoying thing being that many of them are incredibly noisy while eating. It gets highly irritating to concentrate on the movie with the sight, smell, and sound of food, doesn't it?
You'd be surprised to know there still exists such individuals who reach the theater before anyone else, and spends the time reading either the newspaper, or a novel, or even books on his/her smartphone! If that is not enough, he will try to exhibit his unrivaled knowledge to the first person that sits beside him. Not just before the movie, but during it too, he cannot survive without showing off his incredible intelligence. Talk about annoying!
The Habitual Texters
Why would you pay for a movie ticket, come to the movie hall, and spend your time texting people? Beyond me. Without fail, you will find, not one but several such people, who keep sending texts continuously. A strong ray of light in between the audience (apart from the movie screen) and the irritating clicking sounds amidst the incredible darkness of the theater is infuriating beyond limits.
Individuals with Irritating Habits
Irrespective of the genre of movie you plan to watch, you are sure to come across this individual who is oblivious of his/her surroundings and is either snoring away in the air-conditioned theater, or digging his nose, or coughing or sneezing or yawning without covering his mouth. These individuals definitely need an old-world reminder of manners and etiquette with a tap on their heads.
The tappers cannot sit still during the movie, they are the forever restless kind of individuals. They either keep tapping their feet on the ground, or moving their toes up and down, drumming their fingers on the armrest, or fidgeting about. Even if the entire audience is rapt with attention due to the big screen on-goings, these tappers will merrily continue with their annoying quirks, God help the people sitting beside them.
'Aaah!!', 'Wooow!!, 'Oh my God, oh my God!', 'No no!'. These are some of the occasional exclamations you will hear from the over-reactors. Rather, loud reactors. Every single scene, every dialog needs and evokes in them a loud, unnecessary over-the-top reaction. If the scene is humorous, they laugh like the devil, if the scene is violent, they scream like the devil. Enough to disturb the whole theater.
The Washroom Crazies
These individuals are pretty unique 'cause they seem to have control over their bladders akin to a four-year-old toddler. For an average duration film you will find them frequenting the washroom almost every half an hour. No respite for the poor devils and subsequently for other movie-watching souls too.
The Phone Addicts
God help these tech-addicted souls. I mean, if they are that busy and that important, why do they even bother coming for the movie? These addicts talk on the phone during the movie, that too in a loud voice, causing enough chaos and ruckus in the theater and distract other movie-goers during some important scene. Disgustingly irksome.
'Blah blah blah blah ... '. This is what the chatterbox does. Talk, talk, and talk―there is no end to it. They talk endlessly about the movie, or the weather, or even their personal lives, or anything under the sun. They talk to their friends, family, and even strangers. And they scream and cheer and whistle for the most idiotic to the best of movie scenes. It is difficult to find even one moment of peace when a chatterbox is around. Obnoxiously irritating, no doubt.
Grrrrr..... is the reaction when you have the misfortune of being seated next to these whispers. If the chatterboxes weren't irritating enough, the whisperers are exasperating. Everything they ask or speak or sing is done in a high-pitched, squeaky whisper, enough to give the whisper birds a complex. When it continues for more than 5 minutes, all you want to do is whack his/her head and scream, 'Talk! Please talk! Don't whisper!'.
No offense to any parent please, but is it really necessary to bring babies below a year old and toddlers to the movies? I am sure you can find a babysitter for a few hours. Well, kids are cute yeah, but it's bloody well irritating to hear them sob like a maniac when the movie has a rather interesting scene. It's worse when the parent does not bother to pacify the kid. In fact, you'll probably find many parents who get their two- and three-year-old toddlers to adult movies, and then complain about the language the people in the theater use.
I mean, parents, please understand. You are watching an adult movie. If the youth around you is swearing, technically, it's not their fault. Why do you need to get your kid to such movies? Point three, taking your kids to horror movies that are meant for children beyond their age, and acting like a kid in their presence. Screaming. Dropping the popcorn. And what not. No, no, it's not wrong at all. Just plain gross and annoying.
Yeah, this one's a virgin. Relax, not literally. He/She is a first-timer. This is probably their first experience of watching a horror movie, or a romantic comedy, or an action thriller. And they'll 'oooh' and 'aaah' for practically every scene in the movie, give or take a few.
These individuals have an incessant urge to comment on just about everything. Right from the film director to the female lead to the bit players, the cinematography, choreography, costumes, everything. Non-stop comments, like 'Oh, the actress is wearing Gucci', 'Oh wow! The effects are brilliant!', 'Disgusting. I do not like his costume', or 'The dialog delivery of the protagonist is rather weak, don't you think?' can grate any sincere movie-goer.
There is no reason to laugh, in the movie or otherwise, yet there is always someone who does. Yes. Even for a serious scene. Unbelievably, these people can laugh their way throughout the movie, for the lamest of scenes and the dumbest of reasons.
You may or may not have come across them very often. This individual comes to the theater, but spends his time staring at others instead of watching the movie. Some creeps may even sneak up on you, sit behind you and disturb you in the strangest possible ways. Some nerve they have.
Latecomers can be infuriating, because they arrive well after the first few scenes and then distract others firstly just excusing themselves while they reach their seats, their silhouette creating a mass disturbance for everyone, and secondly, by their whispered talk about how much did they miss or not miss the action on screen. Sometimes, you want to empty your popcorn bucket over them. No no, wait. Popcorn is too precious to be wasted on these inconsiderate folks.
The Delicate Cowards
These people are usually spotted during scary movies. Everyone gets scared while watching this genre, so no complaints there. But is it necessary to get frightened and scream even when the scene is not that horrifying? You'll find plenty of these weirdos who shriek and clutch their partner's hand and even start fake crying, some, for probably attracting attention, and some, for God knows what reasons.
These individuals just do not sit in one seat. Give him the sign of an empty seat, and he'll trudge over there, ignoring the ranting of the people around. If he is unable to catch a good view of the movie from there, he'll shift to some other empty seat. And so on, until the movie gets over. Unbelievably troublesome.
These aggravating people certainly need to either read the movie reviews before entering or at least keep their eyes and ears and other sensory organs in working condition. They have to ask a question about every scene, every dialog. Either they are way too dumb, or they do not pay attention. Whatever the reason, they can bombard their adjacent movie-goer with questions and questions, until that poor soul is ready to explode.
The Weeping Machines
You may have come across these individuals fairly regularly. He/She is the emotional, sobbing, sentimental fool who cries for every scene. Even if the scene is not very emotional, you'll find this person weeping quietly, sniffing into their tissues, or with a soft, emotional expression. Okay, I am not condemning those who are sentimental, and yes, we all experience various emotions while watching such movies, but not for every goddamn scene, for pity's sake!
The Plot Spoilers
He/She knows everything about the movie, and wastes no time in giving away the suspense. Either he has already watched the movie and is flaunting stuff he already knows and others don't, or he has probably heard it all from someone else. Whatever the reason, it's irritating beyond means to have someone reveal the plot or the killer. Where is the excitement then?
How can this category of people not make it to the list? They are the lovey-dovey couples who come to the theater and have enough PDA to piss the person sitting next to them. I mean, love is young and beautiful, yes, but do you really need to showcase it to the public? Despite sitting in the dark corners of the theater and trying to keep their action as low-profile as possible; invariably, people sitting around are distracted and bothered, and on occasions, even disgusted.
Well there are many more, and no matter how irritating they may be, we still go to the movies and put up with them. We love the movies, don't we? And what's more, we also possess some of the above annoying habits. C'mon, don't you deny it! (Wink wink!)