things you should never say to your ex
Things You Should Never Say to Your Ex
What's done is done, and it is in the past now. You possibly cannot go back and change things. However, what you can do is avoid fights and lessen arguments with your ex by not saying a few things. After all, there was a time when you wanted to be in a relationship. So, in this Buzzle article, let's take a look at what are those things that you should never say to your ex.
I will never regret him, or say that I wish I never met him, because once upon a time, he was exactly what I was looking for. ~ Unknown
Just when you think that breaking up is pretty difficult, you will soon find yourself in a need to maintain cordial equation with your ex. A situation to be friends with your ex could be possible, or a necessity, if you both share a child together, work at the same place, attend a class together, or basically have common meeting points and friends. In such cases, one has to be extremely careful with words. What you say after a breakup can be held against you, making the moving-on process quite difficult for both of you.
To simplify being with your ex, try avoiding a few things. Although the two of you might share a comfort zone for sometime, there are certain things which cannot be said.
Let's take a look at some of the things that you should never say to your ex.
What a Girl Shouldn't Say to Her Ex
You Are So Cheap
Being cheap is not what a man intends or plans to do when he is around you. In fact, paying for your shopping and dinners gives men a sort of an ego boost, as it puts them in the position of being a provider. Surely, he's done whatever he could while the two of you were together. Maybe he had occasionally paid for your girlfriends too. So, remember the times when he's done it and let go when he hasn't. Words like these would definitely sting like a bee, so be careful with your temper.
You Will Never Be Happy Without Me
When he decided to leave you, he knew he was unhappy. So he thoughtfully chalked out a plan to be happy in his head. It included calling it quits with you and moving on to a new adventure. So when you tell him that he will never be happy without you, it pretty much sounds like 'you wish!' in his head. All you end up doing is making a mockery out of yourself. So for your sake at least, avoid saying this.
You Are a Complete Loser
Maybe he is a complete loser. But was he one when you were together? Every person has their different sets of priorities. His might have been different than yours at this point of time or maybe then. Expecting your ex to match up to your expectations after a breakup is totally incorrect. Now that you've got rid of him, it hardly matters whether he is loser or an achiever, right?.
It is All Your Fault
Never is this statement true, and all it creates is unnecessary drama, which could lead to another fight. Remember, it always takes two of tango. In a worst case scenario, say in an abusive relationship or a dominating relationship, one person is a constant victim, as they fear retaliating, and the other keeps taking advantage of it. So the fault may differ in proportion or kind, but it definitely never rests on just one person.
What a Guy Shouldn't Say to His Ex
You and My Mom Are the Same
If there was no difference between her and your mother, then you both would be doing the same things that you and your girlfriend do. So, the difference here is quite self-explanatory! Also, you need to understand that when she was mothering you, she meant those things out of care and concern for you. If those are not the things you expected from her, there is no point saying it now, as it is over!
You Should Have...
Do not even go there! There is always a long list of things that she should have and she could have. But the point remains that, she didn't, and importantly, you didn't say it then. So there remains no meaning to bringing up this topic now. Also, if you really intend to make her listen to these hypotheses, then be ready for a long list which she might draw up.
You've Never Done Anything for Me
Really? If she hasn't done anything for you, what took you so long to breakup? So, let's take an account of each day of your relationship and go through the things she's done or not done. Surely, there will be at least five things or times when she has thought of you before herself. It is time you count your blessings and move on.
You Were the Reason Why I'm So Depressed
You were old enough to get into a relationship and take your decisions then. You didn't quite blame anyone when you got into a commitment. When it did not turn out to be what you expected, you decided to end it. So when every decision is yours, how can you blame someone else for your mental state? Being depressed is your issue and not hers. And if you've already ended the relationship, the cause is gone too. So kindly take responsibility for your actions, and see a shrink if needed.
Digging up the past and making caustic remarks about the same is definitely not going to serve any purpose. If you think you are trying to make a point with these spiteful sentences, then you are sadly mistaken. Avoiding such bouts of anger and the temptation to say vile things is possible, if you keep in mind the reasons why you need to be cordial with your ex. Festering feelings of anger or hate will begin to eat you up on the inside. Try to accept what has happened, and make peace with it by being grateful to what you have learned. A slight change of attitude will restore the calmness within you.