Having a thirteen-year-old in the family is like having a general-admission ticket to the movies, radio and TV. You get to understand that the glittering new arts of our civilization are directed to the teenagers, and by their suffrage they stand or fall. You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you. A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth, but never too tired to hold a phone. Society has the politicians and teenagers it deserves. Don't bother discussing sex with teenagers, they'll just laugh at how little you know. When you're a teenager, 'No' is a complete sentence. Imagination is something that sits up with dad and mom the first time their teenager stays out late. Why do they rate a movie "R" for "adult language?" The only people I hear using that language are teenagers. The problem with disciplining a teenager is that in no time at all you begin to sound like one yourself. Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Having teenagers is like living with a bowling alley inside your head. Teenage girls are too caught up in being with a guy who's the best for everyone else and not the best for themselves. The main problem with teenagers is that they're just like their parents were at their age. Santa Claus has the right idea, only give stuff to kids once a year. As a teenager I was so insecure. I was the type of guy that never fitted in because he never dared to choose. I was convinced I had absolutely no talent at all. For nothing. And that thought took away all my ambition too. Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other. The difference between the teenager and the parent is that the teenager still has the faults the parent outgrew. Dear restroom, you aren't just a bathroom. You are a place to talk, cry, gossip and escape from my class. Sincerely, teenagers. Raising teenagers is like trying to wrestle slippery pigs with your hands tied behind your back. Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.