Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
Bill Cosby
Parenting isn't easy. It takes serious effort to raise kids, and mold them into decent beings who will shape up the world. Also having children means having a full-time job without a breather. But let's not forget that it is also the most important and satisfying job that you will ever do.
In the midst of their growing up chaos, there are certain moments where you, as a parent, said some stuff that didn't make any sense. It is obvious you didn't do it on purpose, and it is also possible that you were just tired, frustrated, or preoccupied with something when you uttered these amazingly ridiculous statements.
It is essential to understand that the weird things that you say to your kids, your kids will ultimately say to their kids. So let's not make you, and them, look bad in front of future generations.
Stupid Things Parents Say to Kids
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You're Just Like Your Mother/Father
An extremely popular and ridiculous statement that parents use. Taking into account that the kid shares DNA with the mother and father, it is obvious that he/she will turn out like just like them. It shouldn't come as a surprise that the kid has inculcated certain habits of his/her mother and father. In this situation, it doesn't matter how you feel about the other parent or vice versa, it isn't right to make the child feel bad about the other parent.
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Keep your personal issues with the spouse aside when it comes to kids. If you are continuously going to lecture the kid about how bad their father/mother is, even he/she will start thinking the same way. Have a hearty talk with the child about why certain habits are good or bad. Comparing him/her with your spouse is simply wrong, and the kid will grow up hating the parent even more.
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Stop Now or Else...
This 'Or Else' part is extremely fascinating to the child, and he/she will keep doing it until they get to know the outcome. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but issuing threats to a little kid is just plain stupid. By doing so, you are teaching him that using force and threats is a good way to get what you want. Secondly, now that a threat has been issued, you have to think of a harsh punishment or back down, and show your kid that you issue only empty threats.
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While it sometimes get difficult to control the urge to discipline kids, issuing threats is certainly not the way to go. Try opting for a more constructive route. Explaining the pros and cons of their actions might prove more effective than issuing a threat.
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Stop Acting Like a Girl
This derogatory statement is often said to boys from a very young age to stop them from crying, and acting like a sissy. Also, it shows that there is something wrong in being a girl, and it emphasizes on the theory that girls are inferior to men. Not only it is an insult to girls, it also upholds the belief that boys shouldn't channel their emotions, and crying is something that only girls do. This statement is just offensive, and should not only never be used in front of boys, but should never be said in front of girls as well.
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Remember, discouraging young kids from displaying their emotions can lead to a lack of emotional reactivity. As they grow up, it can also make them less empathetic towards the plight of others.
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Stop Crying or I'll Give You Something to Cry About
Let me understand this, the kid is already crying, and you are going to give him/her something that will make the situation even worse. Are you even listening to yourself? If the kid is already crying, why would he/she need something more to cry about. There is no doubt that this is a foolish statement, and the reason most parents say it is because they just want the kid to stop crying. Dealing with kids can be difficult, but if the kid is already upset, the threatening will make matters even more worse. It is surely not going to solve the problem, and it will be looked upon as a betrayal.
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Understand that a crying child needs the comfort of both the mother and father. Speak with kid in a comforting voice, and try to understand what's bothering him/her. Try to be a friend for a while, instead of a parent.
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You Are Too Young to Understand
This is basically the most over-used phrase to shut kids up. The kid asked you a question, and either you don't know the answer, or you don't want to share. Nevertheless, it is essential to know that kids these days are very smart, and with every new generation their IQ is actually increasing. Also if you can't answer something, they can definitely look it up on the net.
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There is no textbook method to tackle this situation. It all depends upon the question asked, and if the kid has reached the appropriate age to have and understand the answer.
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Eat Your Food, There Are Kids Starving in Africa
That's true. There are millions of kids starving, not only in Africa, but all around the world, and if you are so concerned then why force your kid to overeat. Instead, you can save food and send some back to nations where kids are starving. Almost every parent has made this ridiculous comparison so that their child finishes every last item on the plate.
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Instead of letting the kid know about the unfortunate plight of starving kids, you can always say that their favorite superhero would like him/her to finish the food, so that he/she can become strong and powerful.
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You're Grounded
Ah! The evergreen 'You're Grounded' threat. Even you, as a parent, know deep down inside that it doesn't work anymore. Today's kids anyway spend half of their day in their rooms - playing video games, surfing the net, and putting every little detail on social networking sites. Also there is a high risk that you could be taken to court? That's what happened in Quebec, in 2008, when a 12-year old sued her father who refused to allow her to go on a school trip, and won.
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If you really want to make your kids more responsible, and make them aware of the consequences of their choices, you need to think of a much more practical punishment than locking them up in their room.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
Chocolate in the morning gives worms.
Wait till your mother/father gets home.
Don't ever let me catch you doing that again!
This hurts me more than it hurts you.
You must get that from your father's side of the family.
Beer is mommy or daddy soda.
I was not born yesterday, Mister/Miss.
Don't you make me pull this car over....
As mentioned before, dealing with a kid is not easy, but saying stupid things just to shut them up is not the answer. Learn to answer their questions nicely, and remember, you also need to be a friend to understand them.
