Fall in love with a dog, and in many ways you enter a new orbit, a universe that features not just new colors but new rituals, new rules, a new way of experiencing attachment.
― Caroline Knapp
They say saving a dog won't change the world, but it will surely change the world for that dog. Honestly, getting a dog home will definitely change your world. It will be filled with a lot more love (you know, the unconditional one), laughter, and whole lot of craziness.
These little four-legged furry friends with cute wagging tails, tend to teach you a lot of things during the time they spend with us. They turn out to be most loving, slightly weird, kinda clumsy, and really goofy companions we'll ever get. They, from time to time, give us a much-needed dose of laughter and a hell lot of embarrassing situations.
Here are some weird situations dog lovers must have come across more than once in their lives for you to laugh out loud.
Licking their privates in public
Little Johnny displaying his amazing sense of hygiene in public
The amazing feeling when the house is brimming and bustling with people and when the living room is filled with jovial chatter, right then your beloved pooch plonks himself/herself right in the center of the room and happily laps away. If that wasn't awkward enough, the next thing he/she wants to do is lick that face of yours. You know, just to let everyone know he/she loves you. Fun, isn't it?
There are two kinds of dogs; one, who love taking a bath and others who absolutely hate it! My dog falls in the latter, and the first few baths that I gave her were nothing short of nightmares. She would howl, cry, jump, and topple things just to escape it. One thing that all dogs love to do, is to roll around in filth or the dirtiest corner of the house. I sometimes feel dogs have their own level of (un)hygiene that they like to maintain.
Awkward play dates
Jill and Abe on a play date
Yes, you'd want your wiggle butt to interact, play, and bond with other doggies, but every once in a while (often) this idea seems to backfire. A day of playing fetch and a wee bit of roughhousing turns into a session of some deep butt sniffing, in some cases, a lot of air humping.
The nasty butt shuffle
Once in a while, your dog must have done this weird thing of rubbing his/her ass on the ground. Although, it's not their fault, but having an ass-scented furniture sure sucks. Imagine laying your head on a cushion on a couch, only to realize it has been doused in your doggie's anal secretion. Eeeww!!
Ruining the family portrait
Goldie, the photo bomber!
Either dogs hate being photographed or they love to torment the photographer. They hold the perfect pose right till the last moment and do something weird just when it is time to click. If you don't include them in the family portrait, they're definitely plotting around the corner to get back at you (which is kind of justified, they're family after all). Don't believe us, the internet seems to be littered with dogs pooping in the background of a good family photo.
Every crinkled wrapper, they've heard it; every time you've opened the refrigerator magically, they appear; every bite you've taken, they've watched it. Not for a second do they take their eyes off your food, need we even explain the little drool shower that accompanies it? Be it cake, fried chicken, or pizza, they're right next to you, drooling a tiny pond.
Candid moments of the lusty lover, Elmo, caught on camera.
If you have a male dog, you know what we are talking about! Pillows, cats, pigs, chairs, other large dogs, they basically can hump everything. Well, things get a little awkward when they start someone's or even your leg.
The crotch sniffer
Finally that cute guy you've always had a crush on comes over to talk, and your dog manages to bury his nose into his crotch and doesn't seem to cut it out. Could this moment be any more awkward? Yes, it can, when he decides he likes what he smells down there and starts humping his leg (poor guy returns mortified and violated).
Peeing on people
Lex being his usual self.
Yes, someday when you take your snuggums out for a walk and aren't paying attention, you will get peed on. Hate it, but it's the bitter truth! Whether they do it intentionally or unintentionally, we'll never know. Speaking of pee, I'm sure you must've seen your pooch leave a pee trail every now and then (happily watering plants).
Loving your dog more
Yes, it is true, I love my dog more than I love my significant one, and I'm sure I share this sentiment with most other dog owners. Explaining this sentiment to someone who never owned a dog can be difficult (to say the very least).
Hey everybody, look what I got!
Usually first-time guests at every dog owner's house are usually greeted with a bark. The real awkwardness starts when the guests and your doggie get a bit comfy around each other which includes a lot of private parts licking and crotch sniffing. I have heard of an incident when the dog came to greet his favorite guests with his newly found toy, a dirty underwear, just in case they wanted to know what his master's crotch smells like.
Getting sit on
Be it other dogs, cats, or humans, dogs love to sit on everyone! Brownie points for them if they manage to sit on your face. All you can do at this point is pray that the dog didn't get to the leftover baked beans earlier that day.
Choose "perfect" places to poop
Django and the floating turd!
Every time you take your dog for a walk, he/she definitely sniffs the whole area to find the spot that is "just right". On certain unfortunate days, finding this spot may take a while, and somehow, most of the time the middle of the road seems the perfect place to squat and do the deed. Other than that, swimming pools, public ponds, the front of your neighbor's door, the big bag your aunt carries seems to do the trick!
Getting used to some nasty stuff
The usual poop scooping or getting up in the middle of the night and stepping on something squidgy only to realize that your dog is sick. It's funny how they're disgusted by veggies in their food, but gulp down their puke. I hate to admit, but I once caught my dog when she was a puppy trying to eat poop :/.
Getting stuck in weird places
Uhh... a little help here?
Every now and then, the dog manages to get itself stuck or trapped in some of the most unusual places. Empty fish bowl, coat hangers, car seats, toilet bowls, underneath the bed, and plastic chairs. I think the funniest of them all is when they get stuck in the doggie door and sort of have to wiggle, shimmy, and tug themselves out of it. If you have cats and have installed a cat door, I'm sure you've come home to find your dog wedged in it.
Too quiet for too long
Do not disturb, I'm busy making a mess!
If you have a young dog, you know there's something wrong if you haven't seen your dog for sometime. Be it peeing on the bed, chewing your shoe, or redecorating your house with chewed toilet paper, you know that if the house is too quiet, it is definitely the calm before the storm.
Agreed, there have been times when their crazy shenanigans have left you mortified way too many times, but one look into the loving eyes of your dog kinda makes everything else worth it.
There have been times when my dog has driven me crazy, but the sheer joy that she has filled my life with is worth so much more.