"Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal."

Typical Signs of Selfishness

A sudden and unexplained change in the behavior of the partner is the first signal to some problems. A behavioral change can be due to various factors, like stress or job pressures, but it doesn't mean that the person is not responding to your queries and questions. The partner may stop receiving your call and may even ignore you at home by not talking to you, sleeping in another room, and even skipping dinner or lunch with you. While, it is normal in relationships to have phases of ups and downs, it is quite a serious issue if the partner is completely ignoring you, as if you are non-existent. Fights spice up relationships and to some extent, they are necessary, but the extent of ignorance and irrational behavior by a partner is much more grievous in case of selfish partners. It can also be the other way round; the partner may become too much concerned and start expecting a lot from you. Expectations are the necessities of relationships, but the fine line dividing expectations and over-expectations is easily crossed by selfish partners.

Overcoming Selfishness

All you need to do is to consider the other person's thoughts and feelings before you take some extreme steps. Some ways that can strengthen your relationship have been mentioned below. The number one killer in most of the relationships is the lack of communication. When both partners are unable to communicate their desires and expectations to each other, it opens the gateway for negative traits like frustration and anger to enter the relationship. Right and effective communication is the key to sort out any issue before it becomes a problem. Never hesitate to speak to your partner. The very premise of relationships is to share each other's life. If you encounter a situation where there is a chance of misunderstanding, immediately clarify it with him/her. While, eyes are enough to communicate your feelings to your partner, it is best to use words when both of you are in a bad temper! Remember, the mantra is to express yourself effectively! Trusting a partner is something that is vital for every relationship. Selfishness strikes a relationship when there is no trust. It is only after trust is broken that both partners start looking out for themselves. If you don't trust your partner, it obviously means you are in the relationship for wrong reasons and if not fixed in time, the relationship is destined to break up. So, water the garden of your love with trust and commitment. Even if arguments and skirmishes occur, try not to blow things out of proportion. Stop being rude to your love. After all, you both love each other! The joy of loving and being loved in return, is the most exhilarating feeling in the world. Selfishness in marriage is often attributed to the fact that after certain time in marriage, couples start taking each other for granted. A simple 'I Love you honey' can keep the spirit and love for years, but in the humdrum affairs, love is somewhere lost in life. For the newbies in relationship, it is essential that you appreciate the things that you love about your partner and mention them truly. Being fake won't carry on in the long run in a relationship. Genuine appreciation makes the person feel happy. We all need attention; in fact, it's human desire to be loved, appreciated, and cared for. So, don't let the spark die. Be yourself with your partner; never pretend to be what you are not and selfishness in relationships would never occur. Love, in itself has some mystical power that it consumes the person totally. The eyes of logic and rationality disappear from life. If you are a partner suffering serious issues in your relationship, and the only reason you are in this relationship is because you love your partner and are still waiting for things to become better, then surely it's commendable. But for how long will you suffer? Relationship is not about suffering; it's about sharing. Stand up for yourself. If you have tried your best to get him/her on the track, but still the situation seems hopeless, there seems no point in staying in the relationship and hurting your inner self. Feel proud that you did your best and get out of it. Life has something better in store for you! Start creating your life again! It's stupid to stay with someone who cares least about you. Don't suffer for the wrong reasons; you are not meant for that! Move on!