humor quotes to live by

Humor Quotes to Live By

Life, as we all know, is not a bed of roses. But if we take it too seriously, it tends to become tedious. It is therefore not a bad idea to once in a while, just lay back and read something that makes us smile or laugh.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower. ―Groucho Marx
There is absolutely no doubt that life is not a cakewalk and everyday we face different issues. However, after a rather boring day in school or office, a little humor helps us forget our stress and glide over the bumps to face another day. So, as they say, laughter is the best medicine, I bring you a collection of good humorous quotes from some well-known people (oh! Homer Simpson too...) that will surely crack you up. Take your pick...
The Earth is like a grain of sand, only bigger. ~ Anonymous
Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. ~ Golda Meir
Don't count your checks before they're cashed. ~ Anonymous
I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it. ~ Charles Schulz
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ George Carlin
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side. ~ Zig Ziglar
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. ~ Robin Williams
Wall Street is the only place people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from people who take the subway. ~ Warren Buffett
Anything too stupid to be said is sung. ~ Voltaire
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. ~ Jay Leno
Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. ~ Oscar Levant
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. ~ Mark Twain
Humorous Friendship Quotes
I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know! ~ Archie Bunker
Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families. ~ Anonymous
Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex and minus reason. ~ Mason Cooley
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife unless the one is to be sold, and the other to be buried. ~ Charles Caleb Colton
Homer Simpson Quotes These are some absolute masterpieces by the one and only Homer Simpson. Check them out!
English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain - remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night!
Here's to alcohol, the cause of - and solution to - all life's problems.
Marge, you being a cop makes you the man - which makes me the woman; and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which (as we discussed) is strictly a comfort thing.
Fact is, our life will always have problems, but with a little sense of humor we can make it more bearable to get through it. Here is a rather funny take on life by Ron White, "I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."

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