Any adult, having been in a relationship or two, will be aware of the fact that for all the Disney fairy tales and the romantic comedies that are spun on a daily basis, the real relationships are not remotely like that. Real relationships are not about riding off together into the sunset, they are not about never arguing and always saying the right things―they are about being there for each other, sure, but also about a lot of arguments and fights in the bid to getting to know the other person. And when two people are getting to know each other, they're slowly becoming aware of what their partner likes and dislikes, and in a way are training their mind to know what ticks a person off, or how to behave in a particular situation to not anger the other person (to give an example). This is not only true of romantic relationships, but of every relationship in this world. The simple fact is that humans are complicated. There are many layers and nuances to our behavior and personality, and we can't always be straightforward and blunt, saying things exactly the way we want to because there are feelings involved. So what do we do? We use certain behavioral mechanisms and techniques to 'get our way'―everyone does it. So there's the passive aggressive thing happening and then there's the silent treatment bit or the communication through non-verbal signs―all a part of putting our behavior out there and trying to get our way. While all these techniques tend to be used subconsciously, reverse psychology as a technique is used deliberately and consciously with the simple objective of getting one's way by manipulating the behavior of another person. Granted it sounds crass and horrifying even (?) when the word manipulation is used, but people don't seem to realize that it is something that they do more often than they would like (subconsciously, of course) because it has become such an innate part of their personalities. It is also important to clarify that it's not something wrong. It's adaptive behavior to be able to 'survive'. Reverse psychology, like we said before, is a technique of manipulation used for getting a person to do something by telling them not to do it or suggesting that they should not do it because they probably can't. This technique is driven by the fact that by telling someone that they are incapable of doing something or that they can't have something, you're driving the person to do exactly that to prove that you're wrong, and to rebel against the feeling of being told what to do. This technique is based on a psychological phenomenon called reactance in which a person has a negative reaction to being forced or persuaded to do something because he feels that his freedom of choices and alternatives is being curbed, and often ends up doing the exact thing that is being advocated against. While it sounds simple enough to read, using this technique in the most effective manner is another matter altogether. Even if you have the best interests of the other person in mind, learning that one is being manipulated can lead to a lot of negative emotions and could be damaging for relationships. Which is why it becomes important to understand how to use reverse psychology in relationships in the correct manner. The following sections of this Buzzle article will deal with exactly that. We know the basic crux of how this technique works―by telling someone they can't do something, you get them to do exactly that. For this to work, there are a few things that have to be kept in mind and a few rules followed. We will highlight these with a few reverse psychology examples and how to use them in relationships. Reverse psychology is not a simple technique, and if one cannot hone the skill of using this in a subtle manner, one should not use it at all. Moreover, its effectiveness is influenced by other factors as well. This technique is seen to work more with stubborn people, narcissists, type A personalities, and egotistical individuals. This is because, their overinflated egos, their exaggerated sense of self, and their need for power, control, and success makes using reverse psychology on them simpler. They are more swayed over by wanting to prove a point than analyzing the situation at hand. Interestingly, this technique does not work on people who have low self-esteem and those are more likely to accept defeat. If someone says that they are not capable of doing something, they will simply accept the statement without rising up to the challenge. Reverse psychology is a powerful tool, no doubt, but unless it is used in a subtle manner to bring about a positive change in people and motivate them to become better people, it is best not to use it at all; the simple truth of the matter is, no one likes to know that they are being manipulated and used, no matter for how noble a reason.