If you treat a first date like an interview, it will feel like one. Just be yourself and let your personality shine.
― Unknown
Not all of us have the chance of having 50 first dates. We have just one first date; just that one chance to make a good first impression. And as we know, our first impressions are our last impressions. So, you wouldn't want that to go wrong with that perfect person that you've just asked out, would you?
A relationship has many pillars to hold it up, but the first date is like a foundation. It has to go right. Apart from what to wear, where to go, and what to do, it is also important to know what to talk about.
No one likes a person who talks too much or wants to know too much on the very first date. It might make you seem too clingy and desperate. You should not be talking too less as well, as it may appear as if you are not interested at all. Here is some handy help for you.
21 Amazing Conversation Ideas
You cannot have questions going on all over the place, can you? So, here is a list of a few things that you could talk about on your first date. These are safe conversation topics, and will help the talking happen freely. Here are some topics to choose from.
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Keep it Casual
You can begin with by asking how his/her day was, or if the salad/chicken that you both have ordered is good. These are subtle questions to get the ball rolling. More so, it is polite to ask this.
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What is Happening?
Talking about the current events in the world is a great way to know what your date pays more attention to.
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Narcissistic Much?
Ask your date to describe himself/herself. If they go on and on, maybe it's no use wasting more time. The person is sure to break your heart. However, if kept to minimum and he/she wants to know more about you, maybe it's time to pick out the 'second date' dress.
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Leisure Time
Ask your date how he/she likes to spend free time. This is a good way to know about your date's interests and hobbies.
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Friends
It is a good idea to talk about friends, and ask your date who he/she is close to. You can start with something like, "My friend told me about this great place in Hawaii ...", and move on to, "She is a travel photographer and gets to go places." Make sure you avoid making negative comments.
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Zodiac Talk
Many would disagree, and many would violently disagree when told that zodiac signs do play a role in a person's personality. More so, this question can be followed by a detailed discussion about your date's personality traits.
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Boldest/Craziest/Funniest
Ask about the boldest/craziest/funniest thing he/she has ever done or would like to do in future. This question is great to lighten the mood, as well as to know his/her fun side. Everyone has a crazy side, and that is what helps bring the glint in our eyes. So, you need to know that about them, right?
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Terror Boss or Cool Boss
Ask if your date has a terror boss personality, or a cool boss guy? This helps a lot to reveal the kind of person he/she is.
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What Was it Like to Grow Up As ...
It is a good idea to know about a person's family on the first date. It also gives the impression that you are interested in him/her. Ask what was it like to grow up as XYZ's (doctor/teacher/dancer's) son/daughter, or what it was like to grow up in a particular city or culture.
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Superman or Engineer
This is a fun question to ask someone. Ask what he/she wanted to be as a kid. It is surely going to be something funny. Then, share your story as well.
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Passions and Hobbies
A person's hobbies reveal a lot about the kind of person he/she is. And what better than sharing the same hobbies! The next thing you know, you are signing up for yoga classes together.
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12. Do You Cook?
Women love men who cook. It gives them the sense of the guy being something different, as well as sensitive. Most guys also like women who cook, the Oedipus complex (want for a woman like their mother) coming into play. However, be honest when faced with the question, and don't give judgmental reactions to the answer.
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Movie Buff?
Inquire if he/she is a movie buff. Also, ask what kind of movies he/she likes to watch. This way, you can see if your taste in movies match, meet, or beat.
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Profession and Industry
This will let you discuss your professional lives. Always remember, professional life is a very major part of our life, and defines how your relationship would be like in the long run.
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Future Goals and Ambition
It is important to know where the person is heading. See if it matches with yours, or if it will lead to a dead end. Ask about his/her ambitions, and how he/she plans to achieve them. Share your views on the same, but do not criticize though. It sure is a very intelligent conversation topic.
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Sports or Fashion
Ask your date if he/she is more into sports or fashion. These conversations are good to fill in silences.
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Funny Bone
Crack a joke or two during the date. Not only will it make the person more comfortable around you, it will also help keep the spark alive.
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Have You Ever Been to ...?
Ask your date if he/she has been to this new restaurant that you went to. Say what you liked about the place―the ambiance of the place, or the great food. You may also ask if he/she has visited your favorite vacation spot, and why it is your favorite.
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Too Hot to Handle?
Find out if your date is hot-tempered. Make sure you ask it in a subtle way, as it can offend someone. A person who cannot control his temper will have difficulty controlling his/her life. If the answer to this question is yes, maybe it's wise to give the second date a miss.
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Fame, Power, or Money
Ask what would your date would choose among the three. It can help you gain insight into the person's goals in life.
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Cry Baby
Ask if a particular movie or incident has made your date cry. It is a great way to bring up his/her sensitive side. Be prepared to answer the same question. Make sure you do not shed tears all over again. Crying on your first date is a big no-no!
Conversation Tips
Alright, now that you know what kind of things to talk about, you also need to know how to say things. There are some very important tips that you will need to make sure that you carry on the conversation in the best manner.
- Firstly, it is a date, and not an interview. Do not keep the rendezvous going on like a quiz show. Let each question and its answer develop into a friendly dialog.
- Humility is important. Even if you may be all high and mighty, you cannot throw your weight around. So, make sure you treat the other person with respect and importance, if you want a second date to follow.
- Flirting is important. No matter how much you try to deny it, you are naturally flirtatious to your subject of interest. So, flirt with them. However, your date will get uncomfortable if you end up overdoing it. If you notice the discomfort, tone it down.
- Do not throw racy comments. While doing so on the first date isn't an alien concept these days, giving your date the hint that it is all you are looking for is annoying. So, you may feel rushes of desire in your date's direction, but you need not make it obvious.
- Let your date speak. People often start blabbering on the first date, and don't really give the other person a chance to speak. However, if there is silence, strike up a conversation. Nonetheless, if your date is speaking, let him/her finish; you can respond or probe into it once he/she is done.
- Hold back your crazy side. The first date is not the time to show the person how wild and crazy you are. Show your intelligent, sweet, and endearing side. Your date must be surely aware that everyone has a crazy side, but wait till the 3rd or 4th date to show it off.
- Look into your date's eyes while talking. Eye contact helps people bond and hold conversations for long. More so, if you look into his/her eyes when you talk, or vice versa, he/she will instinctively be assured of your sincerity as well as your confidence.
Keep these tips in mind, and your first date will go very smoothly. If you are already doing these things, then you are about as good as it can get.
The bottom line is to be yourself, and behave in a kind and polite manner. Hope it works out for you. All the best!
