facebook status ideas
Facebook Status Ideas
We all know about Facebook and most of us are seriously hooked to it! Whenever it comes to generating Facebook statuses, a sort of creative malady overtakes our senses and we come up with, and find, many creative, witty and wicked statuses all over Facebook. Let's take a look at some of the best!
- Our house is protected by the good lord and a gun; you might meet both if you show up unwelcome!
- When I was a kid, the Dead Sea was only sick...
- I know what you did recently - you just read this status message!
- Does being ec'static' mean that everything sticks to you?
- A good pun is its own 'reword'!
- Shin: a physical appendage that helps you find furniture in the dark!
- Time flies when you're throwing your alarm clock across the room!
- All work and no play makes Jack a manager!
- Asking a writer how he feels about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
- Could crop circles be the misdoings of a cereal killer?
- Heights of innocence - a Nun working in a condom factory, believing she is making sleeping bags for mice!
- Ambition is a miserable excuse for not having enough sense to avoid work!
- My boss is much more than just a mentor to me - he is my tormentor.
- There are certain things that Man was never meant to know; for everything else, there's Google.
- Hard work never kills you - it just keeps you away from Facebook!
- When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun!'.
- The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
- The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
- How does it feel to know that you're everything I need?
- Jealousy is an illness; get well soon!
- While you're not here, I'll just pretend to hug you till you come back...
- Listen to your heart; although it is on your left, it is always right!
- Okay......who's single?
- You don't really know what you have until it's gone; that's a weak Sherlock moment.
- If I can, I will; if I can't, I definitely will!
- Against my will, I love you still!
- I decide when to stop loving you and when not to; it's my prerogative!
- In life, you miss 100% of the shots you never take!
- Courage is not the absence of fear; it's just the realization that something else is more important than fear.
- The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
- To the man who only has a hammer, everything he encounters begins to look like a nail.
- Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching - that's the true essence of living, otherwise you're just existing.
- Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
- When you have a good imagination, you can make up all the facts you want!
- Not only do I don't know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it even if I did .
- I finally figured out what mosquitoes are for - they are God's way to make us slap ourselves!
- Never call a man a fool - just take his money.
- All mothers are working mothers.
- I'm not jealous of men; women can cry in public, wear cute clothes and are the first to be rescued from sinking ships.
- Women are like cell phones; they like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button and you'll be disconnected .
- Life was so much easier when your clothes didn't match and boys had cooties.
- No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.
- A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, soccer games, romances, best friends, location of friend's houses, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
- When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
- Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen or oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
- You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- Reality is a hallucination brought on by lack of alcohol.
- A bachelor is like a modern cleanser; works fast and leaves no rings!
- Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
- Cry over cuts & stitches. not sl*ts & b**ches
- People in cars make accidents, accidents in cars make people.
- The first rule of Hangover Club is: SHHHH.
- I feel this coffee is tall, dark and strong; just like me if I worked out, I mean.
- That's not a pot belly, that's dislocated muscles assembled at one location due to abdominal gravity.
- Alcohol is never the answer, unless the question is "What is C2H5OH?".
- Sexy is when you can confidently wear a tight shirt to the gym yet you don't; not sexy is when you shouldn't wear one yet you do
- Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
- I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die!
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?